Fear

I always feel that I’m not that good enough, that I’m not cut out for the job; that I’m not capable of doing anything that matters. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. This feeling’s not good, I know. I know that it is wrong to feel like this because we are equal in the eyes of the Lord. I’m not insecure or anything, I simply just don’t believe in myself. You ask why? I also don’t know. I’m still in the midst of confusion; my thoughts are like whirlwinds inside my head. Why do I think this way? I deny myself with enough courage to believe that I can do things. I deny myself to enjoy the feeling of accomplishing something just ‘cause I’m afraid to even try it at the very first place. Maybe, that’s what it is. FEAR. Fear to fail, to be judged, to be looked down upon, to be criticized. I admit, I’m afraid of that. Maybe, that’s the reason I just stay on the side lines. I’m afraid to fail and to disappoint the people who even in the slightest, thought that I can do it. I hope and pray that one day will come and I’ll have that courage to face my fear. I have the LORD Almighty to be with me in this journey, I will do this!